Haired Cancer Survivor Taught me to Hope
I will take a short hiatus from writing about my Past to talk about my Present. As all together as people believe I have it, I feel quite the opposite on the inside. Behind the smile, the busyness, the hectic schedule of housework, yardwork, employment, and trying to blog I feel as if a single breath is too much to take because of the time wasted.
It’s crushing. Sometimes I feel like I’m trapped in a room where the air is slowly seeping out and if I take a chance and scream for help that more air will leave canada goose outlet trillium parka black the room, leaving me breathless, hopeless, and utterly in a state of powerlessness.
I keep a notebook on my desk to canada goose jacket outlet sale jot down thoughts throughout the day to myself or random notes about my students (I teach English to foreign language learners). The other day I sat in my chair and stared at the wall. I gazed at the picture of my grandma that I have hanging on my wall and remembered everything she did for me, canada goose outlet belgium her strength, and her resolve. I hung this picture on my wall because I draw strength from not only remembering her, but remembering that, in this picture and at that moment, she was giving a speech to an audience about cancer. She was terrified and didn’t know what to say, but she acted in spite of her fear, because she had a message to deliver. Her message was: „Never lose hope.”
My grandmother was a four time cancer survivor. canada goose outlet paypal She survived colon cancer, breast cancer (twice), and Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. She was given 6 months to live with canada goose coats uk a newborn at home at the age of 30. Imagine that. Your life is ahead of you and you have just been handed your death sentence. What would you do?
She chose to do two things: cry and canada goose jacket uk pray. She asked God to keep her around until my dad was old enough to take care of himself and would often joke in church „I guess he still can’t take care himself, www.canadagooseoutlets.biz because I’m still around.” My dad was well canada goose outlet online uk into his 50’s when she said this and it always got a laugh. What a ham.
canada goose So why am I talking about my grandma during a time when it sounds like my internal world is crashing around me and I feel like a person up to his head in water and can barely force a breath in between the crashing waves? I’m talking about her, because her memory, her example, and her sacrifice give me hope. canada goose
Hope is something that can’t be sold, taught, or marketed.
You, the hopeless, have the very personal and intimate responsibility to seek out and find hope. But, I must confess that this is a part of the Scriptures that I believe wholeheartedly, „If you seek, you will find.”
canada goose uk black friday My grandma had hope. The hope that rested in her heart was real, but it does not mean she didn’t worry, she didn’t suffer, she didn’t live a life without struggle. Quite the contrary. My grandma was an overcomer, a fighter, and a person who would not give up no matter what was in front of her. She forged on with the resounding message of ‚I can do it’ and also to me „Danny, you’ve been successful in everything you’ve ever done. You can do anything.” canada goose uk black friday
Canada Goose sale At this moment, when I feel like I can’t keep going, am on a 10 day work stretch, in Purgatory with the healthcare system waiting to find canada goose outlet out the fate of my mother and if she has cancer, or not; I’m financially strapped, physically exhausted, spiritually spent, and internally wound so tight that I snap like a Rice Krispy Treat from arthritic symptoms when I move, but I just sit back and smile and realize „I have hope”. Canada Goose sale
Viktor Frankl once said „When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”
canada goose clearance Indeed. My situation has not changed, but I surely have. canada goose clearance
Beautiful, almost divine, gifts have come from this period of ultimate exhaustion and stress.
The Scriptures call these „fruits” and I can see why they taste so sweet.
Instead of anger, sadness, resentment, bitterness; instead of these things, I have been showing love, kindness, affection, encouragement, and positivity like never before.
Grace. I want to do one thing, but my heart lives a better Way.
Don’t be afraid of the dark moments, dear friends. Consider the stars in the sky. Some of the most beautiful scenes come out in the darkest of nights. So, it is with hope.
The greatest lesson of this moment right now is that life has ceased to be about me.
canada goose coats I’m 31 and just now learning a simple truth, yet profound truth. canada goose coats
And here’s the secret: It never was.
Hope has you. Do you have Hope?
uk canada goose If you’re going through the darkest of nights right now and life seems so overwhelming that you can’t breathe, can’t sleep, can’t eat, and can’t even imagine making it another day; don’t lose hope. uk canada goose
Grandma was given 6 months to live at the age of 30. She died in 2012, 90 years old, walking her final walk at the Relay for Life (the cancer walk). She was told not to walk the Survivor’s Lap and said „I have to. If something happens canada goose outlet seattle to me, I’m going out the way I want to.”
canada goose clearance sale Minutes later, she did just that. She died. Grandma walked half a lap official canada goose outlet and died from a heart attack instantly. canada goose clearance sale
She went out with her final breath showing people that, you too, can have hope.
She was the oldest cancer survivor in our town (at that time).
cheap canada goose uk As I’m writing this, I’m looking at a stone on my desk from my grandma’s casket that says „Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal.” cheap canada goose uk
canada goose uk outlet Grandma not only left me with a memory, but also with hope. The very power and love that burned in her, burns in me canada goose uk outlet.